Ask A Ninja - comedy

Ninja Movies >.>

Ninja Nazi Terrorist — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 21:26:49 -0500

We actually started thinking it would be fun not to do the videos (not enough ninjaness around where I live). SO here is what we think would be fun.

Cotton-Eyed Ninja (Line Dancing Ninjas :P)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Ninja
Ninja Hustle
Bruce All-Ninja
Ninjas of the Caribbean: Curse of the Budda Belly

<:::::::::::::::::::::::::)ooooooooooooo

Faster than a Haiku

El Pirate — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 03:50:48 -0600

So fast you kill us
In the blink of an eye and
already. . .

Slaughter of the Dragon

El Pirate — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 03:36:48 -0600

Drink from the chalice
Sip the Dragon’s fiery breath
So fast the beast fell

The Blog What I Wrote

Tevan — Wed, 6 Dec 2006 11:03:08 -0600

Congress. Animal reservations. McDonald's. What do these three have in common?
A), they are all filled up with dead animals by about 3 AM, and B) I couldn't care less about any of these.

What else can't I care about?

Sponges
Got Milk ads
Spandex
Rubber Porcupines
Trouser-Press Cheese Toasty Machines
Cabbage trousers.
Emo
Wet Towels.
People who constantly grab parts of my body (Drew)(more of an actual annoyance more than an I-don't-care-about)
Books on cooking
Books on killing
Books on politics
Books on growing cauliflowers for dummies
Pocket protectors
Suspenders
Wedgies

You see, the list goes on and on. So, in the interests of pure boredom, and in the interests of the Procrasinators Convention (posponed until further notice) I beat Oblivion with a level 5 CHR

Boo ya.

Because I can

Tevan — Wed, 6 Dec 2006 10:57:26 -0600

Or because I can't, its time for another blog. Yaaaaaay.

But what is there to say? Well, I suppose funny incidents would be alright. Uh...

Strange. I'm at a loss for words. oh well.

Went to a strange little town called Vulcan this week. That's right. Vulcan. An entire town/community based around that one pointy-eared elf rip-off race from Star Trek. It was an alright town, I suppose, for a star-trek fan. Unfortunately, I'm not a trekkie. More of an anti-trekki raelly, and I thought if I saw another mural of Mr. Spock's smiling elf-ears I was going to do something regrettable to the mural's creator with a plastic spork and a pair of oven mitts. Oh well, I got a free ice-cream out of it.

What else? Well.... I realized that Star Wars would have been a hell of a lot funnier if they had actually let the guy who played the body of Darth Vader speak as well. He had a cockney accent, so Star Wars would have sounded like a bad episode of One Man And His dog. I don't know about the rest of the world, but that fits my cup of tea.

I recently re-starteed Oblivion for the 6th time due to a computer crash because I used a different disk drive. Go figure. I didn't.

Went to the Warped Tour, wait, that's been covered.
Desperately trying to increase my album collection, now that i've fixed my iPod.Its amazing what a roll of duct tape can do. I can now listen to my music for 1.2 days without hearing any song twice. Thought you should know.

Recently discovered the game Elefun, where this mechanical elephant sits of the floor and shoots marijuana-shaped butterflies up into the air out of his trunk for kids to catch. Coincidence between the butterflies and marijuana? I don't think so.

I lost ten pounds, unfortunately. I like the look of that note.

Well, that's all I suppose.

Damn: My Epic Struggles Against the Evils of Solitaire

Tevan — Wed, 6 Dec 2006 10:55:46 -0600

For once, the title actually states the nature of this blog.

For years, my coputer has taunted my record at solitaire. Every game I play ended up in me losing and crying in a corne while my computer spews electronic laughter from its speakers. But no more.

Yesterday, a miracle occured. After suffering my 5,031st defeat against the hands of the mechanical menace, I decided one more go, and I would call it quits. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I played that game, and won. As the last card left the virtual table, you could actaully hear my computer stuttering in disbelief, its demented laughter track replaced with an inexplicable stammer. "One more!" it cried, "You got lucky! You poncy Englishman!", and, not wanting to leave my countries honour for a game of solitaire, I played again. Once more, utter perfection was achieved, and the cards did that nice little jumpy thing that I rarely get to see. My computer simply could not believe it. Drunk on victory, I taunted it, bet that I would be able to win another game, as I had won two in a row, and my comuter simply responded my screaming "I'm Melting! My motherboard is Melting!" to the tune of "We Are The Champions", which it had fiendishly downloaded to taunt my almost eternal losing streak. I took that as its acceptance of its defeat, and I shut down the computer, victorious, and filled with ecstacy.

Long story short, my computer as being truthful about the condition of its motherboard, and I now need a new computer. Still, a night of solitary perfection was worth a new computer in my books.

Illegalities within the Pilsbury Complex

Tevan — Wed, 6 Dec 2006 10:54:40 -0600

As I was pondrering over the fate of the universe and why PBS Kids was out to get me, I decided to watch some comedy for a change. As I was doing so, the man presenting it made a very good point: we have legalized the wrong kind of artificial high, meaning that Alchohol is legal and shouldn't, and pot is illegal and shouldn't. Well, lets face it, you get into a car with a drunk driver and the chances are he'll have run over 3 pedestrians, 2 dogs, and a variaty of old women by the time you get home. But get into the car with someone on pot, and the first thing he does is to say "Okay, the emergency brake is off". As I said, interesting.

After that got boring (well, I broke the tv. Same difference) I decided to pursue my online expedition and try not to get killed by Big Bird's third cousin. 3 minutes later, and one trip to the graveyard, I went for a stroll. It was then I realized where I was. Stuck in the middle of an old country, familiar yet completely different, and wondering whether I was going to ever get another chance to visit my old friends again. And then I was hit by a truck. Luckily, it was going 3MPH, and all I got was a bit of oil on my shirt, but I took the hint, swore at the driver (apparantly its good manners to swear at a truck driver before you leave; they've always done it to me) and ran back inside.

It was there I was greeted by the newest member of my entourage of dogs, some sort of short Corgie/Retriever cross by the name of Tao. Nice dog. Except for the whole "dammit I want your arm" complex.

Anyway, I'm in Victoria right now, vacationing and out-nerding myself as I type (I suppose "King of the Nerds" is a title one does not easily lose, eh?). I'm going back to Calgary in a couple of days, and I think I'll have another stab at those damned condors for now.

booya 140 739

140_739 — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 12:59:52 -0500

woohoo first entry, rick james biatch. This is a prequel to the 140 739 cult of ninja assasssins that dominate mankind and all other various wrestlers, along with humankind (the race of men and women).Muaha ha ha ha!!!
Yeah it's kinda lonely thinkin up plans of world domination. Leave me a message , I'll spare you , or kill you quickly, infidel!
140 739 is an assassin cult that will follow their superhuman leader, whose name is 140 739, they are silent and swift like fart of bad eggs,yet powerful and mighty like the backhand of a hooker. And that is all I have to say about that.

Special Delivery 1: What is Podcasting? - MP3

digitalfilmmaker — Tue, 7 Mar 2006 22:53:54 -0600

The Ninja explains podcasting to people over the age of 12.
Click below to Download this movie:
(Use 'Save As' Control Click for Macs and Right Click For Windows)

MP3

iPod

Quicktime
WMV

If you like it, tell a friend!

You got questions, Ninja got answers.

Previous Episodes of Ask A Ninja

Remember to send your questions to askaninja@gmail.com.

This is a podcast and can be automagically downloaded to you computer through iTunes.

Please upgrade to the newest version of Quicktime.

Special Delivery 1: What is Podcasting? - Quicktime

digitalfilmmaker — Tue, 7 Mar 2006 21:58:14 -0600

The Ninja explains podcasting to people over the age of 12.
Click below to Download this movie:
(Use 'Save As' Control Click for Macs and Right Click For Windows)

Quicktime

iPod
WMV

MP3

If you like it, tell a friend!

You got questions, Ninja got answers.

Previous Episodes of Ask A Ninja

Remember to send your questions to askaninja@gmail.com.

This is a podcast and can be automagically downloaded to you computer through iTunes.

Please upgrade to the newest version of Quicktime.

Special Delivery 1: What is Podcasting?

digitalfilmmaker — Tue, 7 Mar 2006 21:53:12 -0600

The Ninja explains podcasting to people over the age of 12.

Click below to Download this movie:
(Use 'Save As' Control Click for Macs and Right Click For Windows)

iPod/Quicktime

If you like it, tell a friend!

You got questions, Ninja got answers.

Previous Episodes of Ask A Ninja

Remember to send your questions to askaninja@gmail.com.

This is a podcast and can be automagically downloaded to you computer through iTunes.

Please upgrade to the newest version of Quicktime.

Question 13 "Ninjas Hate Clooney" - MP3

digitalfilmmaker — Tue, 7 Mar 2006 20:40:21 -0600

Kyle asks the Ninja about the movie, "The Perfect Storm," and finds out about a ninja named Perfect Storm.
Click below to Download this movie:
(Use 'Save As' Control Click for Macs and Right Click For Windows)
MP3
iPod
Quicktime
WMV

If you like it, tell a friend!

You got questions, Ninja got answers.

Previous Episodes of Ask A Ninja

Remember to send your questions to askaninja@gmail.com.

This is a podcast and can be automagically downloaded to you computer through iTunes.

Please upgrade to the newest version of Quicktime.

Question 13 "Ninjas Hate Clooney" - Quicktime

digitalfilmmaker — Tue, 7 Mar 2006 20:38:01 -0600

If you like it, tell a friend!

You got questions, Ninja got answers.

Previous Episodes of Ask A Ninja

Remember to send your questions to askaninja@gmail.com.

This is a podcast and can be automagically downloaded to you computer through iTunes.

Please upgrade to the newest version of Quicktime.

Question 13 "Ninjas Hate Clooney" - WMV

digitalfilmmaker — Tue, 7 Mar 2006 20:25:30 -0600

If you like it, tell a friend!

You got questions, Ninja got answers.

Previous Episodes of Ask A Ninja

Remember to send your questions to askaninja@gmail.com.

This is a podcast and can be automagically downloaded to you computer through iTunes.

Please upgrade to the newest version of Quicktime.

Question 13 "Ninjas Hate Clooney"

digitalfilmmaker — Tue, 7 Mar 2006 20:22:37 -0600

Kyle asks the Ninja about the movie, "The Perfect Storm," and finds out about a ninja named Perfect Storm.

Click below to Download this movie:
(Use 'Save As' Control Click for Macs and Right Click For Windows)

iPod/Quicktime

If you like it, tell a friend!

You got questions, Ninja got answers.

Previous Episodes of Ask A Ninja

Remember to send your questions to askaninja@gmail.com.

This is a podcast and can be automagically downloaded to you computer through iTunes.

Please upgrade to the newest version of Quicktime.

Question 12 "Ninja Colds"

digitalfilmmaker — Thu, 23 Feb 2006 01:02:15 -0600

Marty asks the Ninja if ninjas can catch colds.

Click below to Download this movie:
(Use 'Save As' Control Click for Macs and Right Click For Windows)

iPod/Quicktime

If you like it, tell a friend!

You got questions, Ninja got answers.

Remember to send your questions to askaninja@gmail.com.

This is a podcast and can be automagically downloaded to you computer through iTunes.

Please upgrade to the newest version of Quicktime.